A whiter shade of pale, a title of song I didn't remember how it sounds nor who the singer is. But I really love the illuminate feeling from the words. Gives a lot of different meaning from a different perspective I somehow get when this title came across my mind.
Every now and then there will be some title of song that swimming in front of me, or a bunch of words fly by near my eyes. Some I can figure, some don't. I don't really understand how or why this happens, but believe me, everything always happens for a reason.
Like this Nickelback - How You Remind Me song I hear when I type this blog, it keeps tangled on my ear "..I've been wrong, I've been drown to the bottom of every bottle.."
or the Puddle of Mudd - Blurry that scream gently on my ear "...Nobody told me what you thought, nobody told me what to say,everyone showed you where to turn, told you when to runaway, nobody told you where to hide, nobody told you what to say, everyone showed you where to turn, showed you when to runaway..."
Jumat, 24 September 2010
Sabtu, 18 September 2010
comma
I don't remember when, I don't remember how, I don't remember why...
The sky looks this dull but bright
The air feels this damp but fresh
The rain drops this hard but soft
I don't know when, I don't know how, I don't know why...
The mind shut down but alive
The dream retreat but emerge
The soul frozen but warm
fall and upside down, dead and gone...start from scratch,hunt and dispatch
suffocated by the dark, paralyzed by the light
the mind wishes to be bind, the riff of stiff
when the purified regenerate
The sky looks this dull but bright
The air feels this damp but fresh
The rain drops this hard but soft
I don't know when, I don't know how, I don't know why...
The mind shut down but alive
The dream retreat but emerge
The soul frozen but warm
fall and upside down, dead and gone...start from scratch,hunt and dispatch
suffocated by the dark, paralyzed by the light
the mind wishes to be bind, the riff of stiff
when the purified regenerate
Selasa, 17 Agustus 2010
BELIEVE
17 August 2010
hahaha..I'm back..reborn to a new and (insyaAllah) a better person :)
So, it's been a while don't you think?
How is the world? I've heard news that too many suicidal cases happens in my country nowadays, any suggestions on why that happens? Must be a reason behind every desperation, right?
I was once fall into deep desperation phase, so I would understand if those people would say they don't have a way out. Luckily though, there's DIVINE interference during my desperation time ^^ So I'm a more devoted person to my affiliation, my religion and my believes.
Back to what I've said earlier, those people may have a lot of reason in committing suicide, from ridiculous to complicated-unsolvable stuff. It's just how we see our problems. By logic, I may say that there'd be no way out. But, let me tell you a secret, my fellow friends. All you have to do is let Allah helps you, and do the impossible things for you. I know it's hard, I sometimes still think that there's no way it can possibly happens if we don't DO or HAVE anything "REAL". A suggestion, play "IGNORANCE" role to logic. It will helps us a lot. ^^
When we ignore our logic that says it's impossible, it will become easier to take all the burden in the world on your shoulder (I just exaggerate it). So believe! ^^
hahaha..I'm back..reborn to a new and (insyaAllah) a better person :)
So, it's been a while don't you think?
How is the world? I've heard news that too many suicidal cases happens in my country nowadays, any suggestions on why that happens? Must be a reason behind every desperation, right?
I was once fall into deep desperation phase, so I would understand if those people would say they don't have a way out. Luckily though, there's DIVINE interference during my desperation time ^^ So I'm a more devoted person to my affiliation, my religion and my believes.
Back to what I've said earlier, those people may have a lot of reason in committing suicide, from ridiculous to complicated-unsolvable stuff. It's just how we see our problems. By logic, I may say that there'd be no way out. But, let me tell you a secret, my fellow friends. All you have to do is let Allah helps you, and do the impossible things for you. I know it's hard, I sometimes still think that there's no way it can possibly happens if we don't DO or HAVE anything "REAL". A suggestion, play "IGNORANCE" role to logic. It will helps us a lot. ^^
When we ignore our logic that says it's impossible, it will become easier to take all the burden in the world on your shoulder (I just exaggerate it). So believe! ^^
Minggu, 27 Juni 2010
doki-doki!
My name is Jonas.
I'm carrying the wheel.
Thanks for all you've shown us.
This is how we feel.
Come sit next to me.
Pour yourself some tea.
Just like Grandma made
When we couldn't find sleep.
Things were better then.
Once but never again.
We've all left the den.
Let me tell you 'bout it.
Choo-choo train left right on time.
A ticket costs only your mind.
The driver said, "Hey, man, we go all the way."
Of course we were willing to pay.
My name is Wake me up.
Gotta box full of your toys.
They're crush out of batteries.
But they're still makin' noise, makin' noise.
Tell me what to do.
Now the tank is dry.
Now this wheel is flat.
And you know what else?
Guess what I received,
In the mail today.
Words of deep concern
From my little brother.
The building's not goin' as he planned.
The foreman has injured his hand.
The dozer will not clear a path.
The driver swears he learned his math.
The workers are goin' home. (x4)
Yeah!
The workers are goin' home. (x3)
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
My name is Jonas.
My name is Jonas.
I'm carrying the wheel.
Thanks for all you've shown us.
This is how we feel.
Come sit next to me.
Pour yourself some tea.
Just like Grandma made
When we couldn't find sleep.
Things were better then.
Once but never again.
We've all left the den.
Let me tell you 'bout it.
Choo-choo train left right on time.
A ticket costs only your mind.
The driver said, "Hey, man, we go all the way."
Of course we were willing to pay.
My name is Wake me up.
Gotta box full of your toys.
They're crush out of batteries.
But they're still makin' noise, makin' noise.
Tell me what to do.
Now the tank is dry.
Now this wheel is flat.
And you know what else?
Guess what I received,
In the mail today.
Words of deep concern
From my little brother.
The building's not goin' as he planned.
The foreman has injured his hand.
The dozer will not clear a path.
The driver swears he learned his math.
The workers are goin' home. (x4)
Yeah!
The workers are goin' home. (x3)
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
My name is Jonas.
Rabu, 02 Juni 2010
Wednesday,02-06-10 @ 6:43pm
It's been awhile since I wrote my last..how's the world?Still living large huh?
I'm out of job,one damn problem solve..will never meet that s.o.b again..
I wonder,why I didn't realize it earlier,so none of those stupid things happened..but,then again,am I not the fool as always?Think that everything is the way it is..even when I realize that there's always grey between black and white..hehehe
But that's old story..All I have to do now is just learning from it..hope it'll never happen again,n I won't fall for the same mistake again ^^ Aren't living is learning?
AISHITEMASU,OJI SAMA!
It's been awhile since I wrote my last..how's the world?Still living large huh?
I'm out of job,one damn problem solve..will never meet that s.o.b again..
I wonder,why I didn't realize it earlier,so none of those stupid things happened..but,then again,am I not the fool as always?Think that everything is the way it is..even when I realize that there's always grey between black and white..hehehe
But that's old story..All I have to do now is just learning from it..hope it'll never happen again,n I won't fall for the same mistake again ^^ Aren't living is learning?
AISHITEMASU,OJI SAMA!
Selasa, 27 April 2010
...
20:58pm
at the office...don't know what to do nor where to go...my mind wandered to you again...ahh,this punishment really kills..
the rain doesn't fall either..maybe this time I'm supposed to feel it, not just run away like I usually did..but the more I feel, the more it hurts..
I'd take a walk for a while..maybe the wind and the dust of those empty road could tell me what I am supposed to do..
with these song in my head:
"The Reason"
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear
I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You
and the reason is You [x3]
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
at the office...don't know what to do nor where to go...my mind wandered to you again...ahh,this punishment really kills..
the rain doesn't fall either..maybe this time I'm supposed to feel it, not just run away like I usually did..but the more I feel, the more it hurts..
I'd take a walk for a while..maybe the wind and the dust of those empty road could tell me what I am supposed to do..
with these song in my head:
"The Reason"
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear
I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You
and the reason is You [x3]
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
Senin, 26 April 2010
"I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love"
16:25pm..got back from a doctor which I didn't remember the face nor care what he said..my head spins and my heart beats too slow..can't find any words to show what's inside, so I take these guys' words to represent:
"The End - My Chemical Romance"
Now come one come all to this tragic affair
Wipe off that makeup, what's in is despair
So throw on the black dress, mix in with the lot
You might wake up and notice you're someone you're not
If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see
You can find out firsthand what it's like to be me
So gather 'round piggies and kiss this goodbye
I'd encourage your smiles I'll expect you won't cry
Another contusion, my funeral jag
Here's my resignation, I'll serve it in drag
You've got front row seats to the penitence ball
When I grow up I want to be nothing at all!
I said yeah, yeah!
I said yeah, yeah!
C'mon C'mon C'mon I said
(Save me!) Get me the hell out of here
(Save me!) Too young to die and my dear
(You can't!) If you can hear me just walk away and
(Take me!)
"Dead End - In Flames"
Save all your prayers
I think we lost today
There's no morning after
And no one's around to blame
I'm not afraid to bleed
But I won't do it for you
A star among hypocrites
The melody of our time
[Chorus:]
So say goodbye to the world
We are the dead that walk the earth
Scream your lungs out
Wait for laughter
You don't have to wait forever
It's the next disaster!
What decides when you've lost the war
When the first man falls?
Or when they erase it all?
We're too numb to feel
The downfall starts right here
Hold your breath and swim
Swallowed my life's tear
In times of make believe
No one really seems to care
Maybe I should care less
'Cause I will die too
[Chorus]
What will it take for us to realize
The more we provoke
Winter will come twice
Save all your prayers
There's no morning after
And no one's around to blame
Scream you lungs out
Wait for laughter
You don't have to wait for ever
Here's the next disaster! [2x]
"Walking Dead - Linkin Park"
In the chill of the night
I can feel my heart racing
As I run towards the light
that seems so far away
Wondering forever
In the darkest of shadows
Wondering if I will ever see you again
Wondering if I will ever see you again
I'll take your love
(I'll take your love)
I'll take your hate
(take your hate)
I'll take you're desire
I'll take the world
when it turns on you
(when it turns on you)
I'll set it on fire
W-the-w-th-th-the walking dead
The walking dead (walking dead)
Digging in the dirt
I can feel you getting closer
Steadying my hands through the blistering pain
Anxiously awaiting for the earth to reveal you
Wondering if I will ever see you again (see you again)
Wondering if I will ever see you again
I'll take your love
(I'll take your love)
I'll take your hate
(take your hate)
I'll take you're desire
I'll take your heart
I'll take your pain
(I'll take your pain)
I'll bring you to life
I'll bring you to life
W-the-w-th-th-the walking dead
The walking dead (walking dead)
I'll bring you to life
I'll take your love
(I'll take your love)
I'll take your hate
(take your hate)
I'll take you're desire
I'll take the world
when it turns on you
(it turns on you)
W-the-w-th-th-the walking dead
I'll take your love
(I'll take your love)
I'll take your hate
(take your hate)
I'll take you're desire
I'll take your heart
I'll take your pain
(I'll take your pain)
I'll bring you to life
"Walking Dead - Decyfer Down"
Pull the trigger now, end me,
Mark me for the kill,
Like I marked your hands your feet,
I spilled all your blood, flowing deeper,
To suffocate the sin, till I'm drowning you again
(Chorus:)
I am so alive, since you took my life
I'm walking dead now, only you remain
I take the life you gave, I walk from the grave
I'm walking dead now, I am not afraid!
Stabbing deeper now, spill me,
My body left for dead,
Like I pierced your side until it bled,
Now the blood flows freely,
It fills me till I see, that there's nothing left of me
(Chorus:)
I am so alive, since you took my life
I'm walking dead now, only you remain
I take the life you gave, I walk from the grave
I'm walking dead now...
(Chorus 2x)
"Only One - Yellowcard"
Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason
I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you
You are my only, my only one
Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone
And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you
You are my only my only one
Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one
And no one's around to blame
Scream you lungs out
Wait for laughter
You don't have to wait for ever
Here's the next disaster! [2x]
"Walking Dead - Linkin Park"
In the chill of the night
I can feel my heart racing
As I run towards the light
that seems so far away
Wondering forever
In the darkest of shadows
Wondering if I will ever see you again
Wondering if I will ever see you again
I'll take your love
(I'll take your love)
I'll take your hate
(take your hate)
I'll take you're desire
I'll take the world
when it turns on you
(when it turns on you)
I'll set it on fire
W-the-w-th-th-the walking dead
The walking dead (walking dead)
Digging in the dirt
I can feel you getting closer
Steadying my hands through the blistering pain
Anxiously awaiting for the earth to reveal you
Wondering if I will ever see you again (see you again)
Wondering if I will ever see you again
I'll take your love
(I'll take your love)
I'll take your hate
(take your hate)
I'll take you're desire
I'll take your heart
I'll take your pain
(I'll take your pain)
I'll bring you to life
I'll bring you to life
W-the-w-th-th-the walking dead
The walking dead (walking dead)
I'll bring you to life
I'll take your love
(I'll take your love)
I'll take your hate
(take your hate)
I'll take you're desire
I'll take the world
when it turns on you
(it turns on you)
W-the-w-th-th-the walking dead
I'll take your love
(I'll take your love)
I'll take your hate
(take your hate)
I'll take you're desire
I'll take your heart
I'll take your pain
(I'll take your pain)
I'll bring you to life
"Walking Dead - Decyfer Down"
Pull the trigger now, end me,
Mark me for the kill,
Like I marked your hands your feet,
I spilled all your blood, flowing deeper,
To suffocate the sin, till I'm drowning you again
(Chorus:)
I am so alive, since you took my life
I'm walking dead now, only you remain
I take the life you gave, I walk from the grave
I'm walking dead now, I am not afraid!
Stabbing deeper now, spill me,
My body left for dead,
Like I pierced your side until it bled,
Now the blood flows freely,
It fills me till I see, that there's nothing left of me
(Chorus:)
I am so alive, since you took my life
I'm walking dead now, only you remain
I take the life you gave, I walk from the grave
I'm walking dead now...
(Chorus 2x)
"Only One - Yellowcard"
Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason
I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you
You are my only, my only one
Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone
And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you
You are my only my only one
Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one
Kamis, 22 April 2010
The Empty Entity of BaKa
Such a stupid idiot
Living in a chaotic riot
Walk a walk on auto pilot
Shattered heart with a plot
Never understand
Stranded on the land
Ignored all in hand
Soaking in the sand
Now these tears
Filling the soul with fears
Oh,how she wishes God hears
Erase all the pain appears
Salvation she said
And the Almighty gives more than she paid
All the battle she raid
In a disgrace she laid
Where is the rain
To erase all pain
Where is the thunder
she wants to surrender
It hurts..it hurts..it is so hollow
It hurts her to know
She's living in a shadow
All this time she was the sorrow
Where's the grim reaper
Take her soul now,throw it down the river
Let her knows how much he suffers
Make her screams and shivers
"How could you..how could you?", they say
"May your soul burned in hell!", they pray
So she asks them to drag her down the bay
Let her be purified during the day
Will never see a light she promise
If the Knight she loves doesn't grant forgiveness
Maybe the crystal sword will care less
Slashed her soul into pieces
Living in a chaotic riot
Walk a walk on auto pilot
Shattered heart with a plot
Never understand
Stranded on the land
Ignored all in hand
Soaking in the sand
Now these tears
Filling the soul with fears
Oh,how she wishes God hears
Erase all the pain appears
Salvation she said
And the Almighty gives more than she paid
All the battle she raid
In a disgrace she laid
Where is the rain
To erase all pain
Where is the thunder
she wants to surrender
It hurts..it hurts..it is so hollow
It hurts her to know
She's living in a shadow
All this time she was the sorrow
Where's the grim reaper
Take her soul now,throw it down the river
Let her knows how much he suffers
Make her screams and shivers
"How could you..how could you?", they say
"May your soul burned in hell!", they pray
So she asks them to drag her down the bay
Let her be purified during the day
Will never see a light she promise
If the Knight she loves doesn't grant forgiveness
Maybe the crystal sword will care less
Slashed her soul into pieces
Rabu, 14 April 2010
Oris Virgineus i Linteatus
Starry starry night
Where's your southern sight
I'm in the middle of a fight
Between dark n light
Keep me awake tonight
My soul's trembling inside
Wish he come by my side
Soothe the fallen that hide
Pain and vain abide
Reminisce the cavalry they ride
So much for human pride
Scattered and shattered
Smothered but bothered
Sacred and raged
Darkened and frightened
Lightened and hardened
Chaotic disturbia
Obnoxius paranoia
Derived hysteria
Blocked Dimensia
Unfortunate Rebelia
Taken for granted
Resemble the hatred
Washed away on my own
The Rain's soutane blown
Change the silver lining gown
I'm immortal
Unnatural
Tragically brutal
My fear is fatal
The cumulus nimbus by fall
The savior's out of sight
But deep inside I can feel him hold me so tight
Forever is my oath
May we be together in one path
Σε αγαπώ, πρίγκιπα μου.
Where's your southern sight
I'm in the middle of a fight
Between dark n light
Keep me awake tonight
My soul's trembling inside
Wish he come by my side
Soothe the fallen that hide
Pain and vain abide
Reminisce the cavalry they ride
So much for human pride
Scattered and shattered
Smothered but bothered
Sacred and raged
Darkened and frightened
Lightened and hardened
Chaotic disturbia
Obnoxius paranoia
Derived hysteria
Blocked Dimensia
Unfortunate Rebelia
Taken for granted
Resemble the hatred
Washed away on my own
The Rain's soutane blown
Change the silver lining gown
I'm immortal
Unnatural
Tragically brutal
My fear is fatal
The cumulus nimbus by fall
The savior's out of sight
But deep inside I can feel him hold me so tight
Forever is my oath
May we be together in one path
Σε αγαπώ, πρίγκιπα μου.
Rabu, 07 April 2010
12:44pm
PT. HAND SUM TEX, TANGERANG
Taking time to wait for a reunion, at the end of rainbow
Apart for awhile, but never say goodbye
Seconds come to minutes, minutes comes as sorrow
For it feels like forever before I can meet the eye
Walking alone in the corner of one's heart
Go on separate part at a boulevard
Baby, your love will wait till we walk side by side
holding hands as butterflies fly on our yard
Meet you a gain,sweet love
at the end of the road we evolve
Be at your arm soon, feeling your hair and chest
Honey, you're my best interest
PT. HAND SUM TEX, TANGERANG
Taking time to wait for a reunion, at the end of rainbow
Apart for awhile, but never say goodbye
Seconds come to minutes, minutes comes as sorrow
For it feels like forever before I can meet the eye
Walking alone in the corner of one's heart
Go on separate part at a boulevard
Baby, your love will wait till we walk side by side
holding hands as butterflies fly on our yard
Meet you a gain,sweet love
at the end of the road we evolve
Be at your arm soon, feeling your hair and chest
Honey, you're my best interest
RaiN..ThouGH DEaTh Do Us AParT
16:20 pm
Drop of tears, series of laughters
The beauty of hugs, the warm of hands
A story of a Princess who believes not the letters
A song of a Cat Knight with a world bands
Promise for eternity to share in pairs
Forever love written on the sands
Hereby I bow to the Almighty
Who gave me such presence of a great honesty
Never going to be sure
But there's no insecure
Walk under the milky way
Kiss the demon, don't stray
The sweetness of velvet night
Share your thoughts my dearest Light
As this entity feels your glory
And the torn of thy misery
Let me be your sanctuary
A battlefield of secrecy
Rain be their guide, stars be their light
Fight with thy right, sacrifice I might
Live life to love, love life to live
A promise wider than take and give
Forever be in your heart
Though death do us apart
Ich liebe dich, Meine Welt...Deine Liebe ist das Einzige, was mich am Leben zu halten. Ich will nicht hören, was sie sagen. Ihre Stimme wird mein Licht, Gott zu sein. Ich liebe dich, auch wenn der Tod uns auseinander.
हमेशा के लिए प्यार करता हूँ.
Drop of tears, series of laughters
The beauty of hugs, the warm of hands
A story of a Princess who believes not the letters
A song of a Cat Knight with a world bands
Promise for eternity to share in pairs
Forever love written on the sands
Hereby I bow to the Almighty
Who gave me such presence of a great honesty
Never going to be sure
But there's no insecure
Walk under the milky way
Kiss the demon, don't stray
The sweetness of velvet night
Share your thoughts my dearest Light
As this entity feels your glory
And the torn of thy misery
Let me be your sanctuary
A battlefield of secrecy
Rain be their guide, stars be their light
Fight with thy right, sacrifice I might
Live life to love, love life to live
A promise wider than take and give
Forever be in your heart
Though death do us apart
Ich liebe dich, Meine Welt...Deine Liebe ist das Einzige, was mich am Leben zu halten. Ich will nicht hören, was sie sagen. Ihre Stimme wird mein Licht, Gott zu sein. Ich liebe dich, auch wenn der Tod uns auseinander.
हमेशा के लिए प्यार करता हूँ.
Hamēśā kē li'ē pyāra karatā hūm̐.
Selasa, 06 April 2010
My Eternal
12:55pm
Time walks too slow when you're not around
It almost feels like it doesn't move at all
We're connected and bound
Everybody says there's no call
I hear the sound of thunder
I reminisce the voice of no stranger
I hear the drops of the rain
I realize this feeling is all but pain
Tremble and spin, my heart within
My dearest on the keen
Suffocate by the touch of you
Illuminate by the blue
I remember each second I spend holding your hand
I cherish each day I got wondering in your land
So I said I do, because I swear I love you
And I could hear no one but you, to me you are the truth
Time walks too slow when you're not around
It almost feels like it doesn't move at all
We're connected and bound
Everybody says there's no call
I hear the sound of thunder
I reminisce the voice of no stranger
I hear the drops of the rain
I realize this feeling is all but pain
Tremble and spin, my heart within
My dearest on the keen
Suffocate by the touch of you
Illuminate by the blue
I remember each second I spend holding your hand
I cherish each day I got wondering in your land
So I said I do, because I swear I love you
And I could hear no one but you, to me you are the truth
...
Atashi no ai. Atashi wa anata wa totemo suki desu. Anata wa chijoo no tengoku to atashi no jinsei desu. Anata nashi de wa iki rare nai . Anata nashi de wa iki te hoshiku nai. Atashi no tamashī wa anata ni zokushi masu. Atashi wa Kami ga kii te hoshii to atashi no inori wo fuyo suru yotei desu. Gomen ne. Shikashi, atashi wa hontooni anata wo aishi te kudasai. Kami wa, atashi wo tasuke te. Atashi wa kowai desu.
So help me God!
So help me God!
Minggu, 04 April 2010
Fall for my Immortal
Fall For You
Best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don't think that I am trying......
I know you where it thins down to the core
But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you
Over again
Don&'t make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear its true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find
This is not what I intended
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed
But I have loved you from the start
Oh, But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it’s true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
It's impossible
So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in
I'm yours to keep
And hold onto your words
'Cause talk is cheap
And remember me tonight
When you're asleep
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find ____________________________________________________________________
This "Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade" is dedicated to my AVA..aahh, aishiteru nee!
____________________________________________________________________
My Immortal
I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave
Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along
When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me, me, me
____________________________________________________________________
I'm captivated by the lyric..I just hope I don't end like this..
____________________________________________________________________
Best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don't think that I am trying......
I know you where it thins down to the core
But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you
Over again
Don&'t make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear its true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find
This is not what I intended
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed
But I have loved you from the start
Oh, But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it’s true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
It's impossible
So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in
I'm yours to keep
And hold onto your words
'Cause talk is cheap
And remember me tonight
When you're asleep
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find ____________________________________________________________________
This "Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade" is dedicated to my AVA..aahh, aishiteru nee!
____________________________________________________________________
My Immortal
I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave
Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along
When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me, me, me
____________________________________________________________________
I'm captivated by the lyric..I just hope I don't end like this..
____________________________________________________________________
Jumat, 02 April 2010
Angel and The Other
CHORUS:
We don't know why things happens this way..
but I know it happens for a reason..
let's just walk along the subway..
someday we're all gonna change season..
Baby, my life’s a goner..but your love makes me stronger
Maybe one day I’ll see the rainbow, which I thought has lost in sorrow
So before my eyes tricks me to see..tell me how much you love me
Then it shouldn’t be so hard..when everything leave and fall apart
Oh, you'll pass me by, when the rain falls down from the sky
We'll share the moment for a second, but you made me fly high
The reflection of us as the wind blows..Drawn on the windows and shadows
Make sure we'll stay together..cause you're an angel and I'm the other
CHORUS:
We don't know why things happens this way..
but I know it happens for a reason..
let's just walk along the subway..
someday we're all gonna change season..
Yeaah..We sure don’t know why things happens this way..
But let me tell you it happens for a reason..
Let’s just dance like a butterfly..
Someday we’re all gonna make liaison..
Ohh..why is it so hard to make you stay by my side
How does this life hate and put me aside
There’s no way I can make you mine, it’s just another glass of wine
A walk to remember..Honey, you’re an angel and I’m the other..ooohh
CHORUS:
We don't know why things happens this way..
but I know it happens for a reason..
let's just walk along the subway..
someday we're all gonna change season..
Yeaah..We sure don’t know why things happens this way..
But let me tell you it happens for a reason..
Let’s just dance like a butterfly..
Someday we’re all gonna make liaison..
Yeaah, Honey you're an angel and I'm the other..
(by: F.A)
*Wish my song really resound in your ear
We don't know why things happens this way..
but I know it happens for a reason..
let's just walk along the subway..
someday we're all gonna change season..
Baby, my life’s a goner..but your love makes me stronger
Maybe one day I’ll see the rainbow, which I thought has lost in sorrow
So before my eyes tricks me to see..tell me how much you love me
Then it shouldn’t be so hard..when everything leave and fall apart
Oh, you'll pass me by, when the rain falls down from the sky
We'll share the moment for a second, but you made me fly high
The reflection of us as the wind blows..Drawn on the windows and shadows
Make sure we'll stay together..cause you're an angel and I'm the other
CHORUS:
We don't know why things happens this way..
but I know it happens for a reason..
let's just walk along the subway..
someday we're all gonna change season..
Yeaah..We sure don’t know why things happens this way..
But let me tell you it happens for a reason..
Let’s just dance like a butterfly..
Someday we’re all gonna make liaison..
Ohh..why is it so hard to make you stay by my side
How does this life hate and put me aside
There’s no way I can make you mine, it’s just another glass of wine
A walk to remember..Honey, you’re an angel and I’m the other..ooohh
CHORUS:
We don't know why things happens this way..
but I know it happens for a reason..
let's just walk along the subway..
someday we're all gonna change season..
Yeaah..We sure don’t know why things happens this way..
But let me tell you it happens for a reason..
Let’s just dance like a butterfly..
Someday we’re all gonna make liaison..
Yeaah, Honey you're an angel and I'm the other..
(by: F.A)
*Wish my song really resound in your ear
Kamis, 25 Maret 2010
Good Day,everybody.. ^^
It's 12.18 pm
I'm on a project site, PT. Sandang Indo Pratama, Tangerang..waiting for the products. Borrriiiinggg..80% at 13.00pm for the black color, PO 9,861 pcs / 204 pcs sample. It means I can only start to inspect the garment around 15.00pm..phewww!
The other color, Navy, is expected to be ready 100% at 18.00 pm, PO 5,399 pcs / 111 pcs sample.
Really, waiting is an annoying activity! :p
Ahh, I love working so much!^^ It distracts me from thinking about a lot of unnecessary n negatif thoughts. I really hope I can be a Senior Inspector so I can go around the country, become a very busy n important person. So Dearest God, make this dream come true, if You can't grant my other dream..cos I need to be so damn busy,if that dream is just a dream for me. ^^
12.36pm
Fellas, most people use blog to share thoughts..I use it to make a conversation with my head,cos sometimes, we're so disconnected that I can't understand what I really want or do. This is my way to synchronize my body, mind, soul and heart. Sounds silly? Try putting yourself in me, see if you can handle it.
(If you can,please be kind and let me know how, I'm going insane here trying to control myself ...hihihi :D)
Hey, don't you think I'm talking trash here?I just read what I wrote from top to bottom, and I believe that the writer must be somekind of crazy schizophrenic maniac or very disoriented hwakakakakakz :)))
God, I miss him!
Wam,I love you so much...huuuuuu,I'm getting crazier than I thought!
Ciao for now, Angels!
f.a
It's 12.18 pm
I'm on a project site, PT. Sandang Indo Pratama, Tangerang..waiting for the products. Borrriiiinggg..80% at 13.00pm for the black color, PO 9,861 pcs / 204 pcs sample. It means I can only start to inspect the garment around 15.00pm..phewww!
The other color, Navy, is expected to be ready 100% at 18.00 pm, PO 5,399 pcs / 111 pcs sample.
Well, I can assure you, I'd be at my room around 4.00 am tomorrow.
Really, waiting is an annoying activity! :p
Ahh, I love working so much!^^ It distracts me from thinking about a lot of unnecessary n negatif thoughts. I really hope I can be a Senior Inspector so I can go around the country, become a very busy n important person. So Dearest God, make this dream come true, if You can't grant my other dream..cos I need to be so damn busy,if that dream is just a dream for me. ^^
12.36pm
Fellas, most people use blog to share thoughts..I use it to make a conversation with my head,cos sometimes, we're so disconnected that I can't understand what I really want or do. This is my way to synchronize my body, mind, soul and heart. Sounds silly? Try putting yourself in me, see if you can handle it.
(If you can,please be kind and let me know how, I'm going insane here trying to control myself ...hihihi :D)
Hey, don't you think I'm talking trash here?I just read what I wrote from top to bottom, and I believe that the writer must be somekind of crazy schizophrenic maniac or very disoriented hwakakakakakz :)))
God, I miss him!
Wam,I love you so much...huuuuuu,I'm getting crazier than I thought!
Ciao for now, Angels!
f.a
Rabu, 24 Maret 2010
BUSYYYYYYYYY!!! 非常に忙しい!!
Good day,Lucky Angels
It's 12.14 pm in the office..working my ass off, hihihiy.. :D
I notice that I've been very veeeerrry sleepy lately n I wonder why..it seems that I don't have my old ability to stay awake for two days..wweeeewww!!
Am I too tired? Does my body start to degrade? Does this has something to do with all those meditation I had? Either way, I hope it won't last long, I need my body back to normal. I can't do all my activities in a day if I have to sleep more than 3 hours. So, Dear God, please give my strength back.. ^^
13.58 pm
Headache again, at the left side..ssooo annoying,had to close my eyes just because there's too much pain..just like when you got yourself a brain concussion in an accident..nausea n dizzy!
Piere and Nobita keep sending me messages, it doesn't bothers me if I didn't know their intentions. It's too obvious, guys. Nobita's messages always shows caring and compassion, n sometimes jealousy upon my AVA; Piere messages always begin with sadness, apathy, and looking for my sympathy.
14.40 pm
Headache, gone! :)
Missing him so much..huhuhu
So in love with him, I wonder why..Dearest God, The Almighty, hear my pray..pleeaaasseee
愛私は本当にあなたと、私の最愛の王子様です。I am really in love with you, my beloved Prince. ^^
It's 12.14 pm in the office..working my ass off, hihihiy.. :D
I notice that I've been very veeeerrry sleepy lately n I wonder why..it seems that I don't have my old ability to stay awake for two days..wweeeewww!!
Am I too tired? Does my body start to degrade? Does this has something to do with all those meditation I had? Either way, I hope it won't last long, I need my body back to normal. I can't do all my activities in a day if I have to sleep more than 3 hours. So, Dear God, please give my strength back.. ^^
13.58 pm
Headache again, at the left side..ssooo annoying,had to close my eyes just because there's too much pain..just like when you got yourself a brain concussion in an accident..nausea n dizzy!
Piere and Nobita keep sending me messages, it doesn't bothers me if I didn't know their intentions. It's too obvious, guys. Nobita's messages always shows caring and compassion, n sometimes jealousy upon my AVA; Piere messages always begin with sadness, apathy, and looking for my sympathy.
14.40 pm
Headache, gone! :)
Missing him so much..huhuhu
So in love with him, I wonder why..Dearest God, The Almighty, hear my pray..pleeaaasseee
愛私は本当にあなたと、私の最愛の王子様です。I am really in love with you, my beloved Prince. ^^
Good afternoon 16:49 pm!
A strange feeling struck me again, afraid of something I don't even know. Worried, confused n scarred..hmmm, got a pretty messy situation inside my head. Duhh!!
Anyway, I got a strong feeling that my AVA is in the middle of something, which bothers him so much.
God,please help me...
A strange feeling struck me again, afraid of something I don't even know. Worried, confused n scarred..hmmm, got a pretty messy situation inside my head. Duhh!!
Anyway, I got a strong feeling that my AVA is in the middle of something, which bothers him so much.
God,please help me...
Selasa, 23 Maret 2010
Love Love Love
Howdy,mates!
It's 09.40 am and I'm already slacking on my office chair..thinking of my dearest one..hell yeah!
I'm listening some chillin' a must heard songs..I name it,you download it..or, if U already got it, listen to it and think about your life a little. It might help you understand why certain things happens that and this way.
My playlist:
Love is a strange n scary feeling, it haunts and hunts you down...and as you fall, there's only one way in and out, that is to cut a piece of your heart and leave it there as a token of grace.
But, I won't run..as before..even when I know I'll have to bleed again..Love is worth fighting for.
I'll be stronger each day, for U ^^
(나도 사랑한다, 얘야)
f.a
It's 09.40 am and I'm already slacking on my office chair..thinking of my dearest one..hell yeah!
I'm listening some chillin' a must heard songs..I name it,you download it..or, if U already got it, listen to it and think about your life a little. It might help you understand why certain things happens that and this way.
My playlist:
- John Legend - Take It Slow
- Daniel Powter - Bad Day
- Coldplay - Viva La Vida
- Lighthouse family - Lost In Space
- Michael Buble - Home
- Louis Armstrong - Wonderful World
- The Fray - How to Save a Life
- Alanis Morisette - Uninvited
- AVA - Hallucinations
- The Killers - White Demon Love Song
- Boys Like Girls f. Taylor Swift - Two Is Better Than One
- Michael Buble - Haven't Met You Yet
- 311 - Love Song
- Mary n Judy - Sobakasu
- L'Arc en Ciel - Time Goes On
- Oasis - Wonderwall
- Chris Brown f. Keri Hilson - Superhuman
- Yellowcard - Gifts and Curses
Love is a strange n scary feeling, it haunts and hunts you down...and as you fall, there's only one way in and out, that is to cut a piece of your heart and leave it there as a token of grace.
But, I won't run..as before..even when I know I'll have to bleed again..Love is worth fighting for.
I'll be stronger each day, for U ^^
(나도 사랑한다, 얘야)
f.a
Never Been An Ordinary
Good Afternoon, Fellas! ^_^
Just wanna share some thoughts..Do you think there are times when you reeeeeaally want to be an ordinary?
Grow up in a normal family, having lots of normal friends in high school, a success in college, work in a common company, have husband/ wife and children?
Just wanna share some thoughts..Do you think there are times when you reeeeeaally want to be an ordinary?
Grow up in a normal family, having lots of normal friends in high school, a success in college, work in a common company, have husband/ wife and children?
I tried to be an ordinary, just a girl and a woman on the go..I failed :p
Never had the experience of a father since a year old, live in chaos for a whole life.
Family conflict of love, affair n money..didn't have a clue on how to jive.
Boring high schools, filled with books and silence on the white side..
Rage, curiosity and rapid anger on the dark side..
A jet coaster love with tragic end, wish it never has to happen again.
Lost faith and distracted..scaterred soul whose path is vain.
Working to survive alone, handle all things on her own
Wandering from east to west, with frantic smile just lie a frown
Became a superstar of the Show, a good friend of sorrow
But smile on her face never look that hollow
Senin, 22 Maret 2010
Morning all,
I'm back again..it's 9:02 am
a lil bit sleepy head here, need to be pushed by a nice coffee..and I did :D
So,I was sleeping since 11 pm yesterday..very exhausted,,might be the effect of the cat fight I had before. I awoke several times though,thanks to some friends who 'misunderstood' the night as morning.
Anyway,I actually woke up at 4 am..can't go back to sleep just because I really miss my 'hallucination' ..if you read my AVA - HALLUCINATIONS posting earlier..you'll know whom I am talking about.
I got a call from my closest friend too,a very mellow boy named Apier. The sad thing is I used to love this cute boy,before my heart sees Wam, the hallucination.
Aaah..my life's so complicated right now..this story of A Cat and the Dark Princess, i really hope to end in a happy ending..but I don't see how.
Wish I could be selfish, but I'm sure it'll hurt everybody.
Well done, I finish my sad session for this morning..meet you back again soon.
Love you all
(f.a)
I'm back again..it's 9:02 am
a lil bit sleepy head here, need to be pushed by a nice coffee..and I did :D
So,I was sleeping since 11 pm yesterday..very exhausted,,might be the effect of the cat fight I had before. I awoke several times though,thanks to some friends who 'misunderstood' the night as morning.
Anyway,I actually woke up at 4 am..can't go back to sleep just because I really miss my 'hallucination' ..if you read my AVA - HALLUCINATIONS posting earlier..you'll know whom I am talking about.
I got a call from my closest friend too,a very mellow boy named Apier. The sad thing is I used to love this cute boy,before my heart sees Wam, the hallucination.
Aaah..my life's so complicated right now..this story of A Cat and the Dark Princess, i really hope to end in a happy ending..but I don't see how.
Wish I could be selfish, but I'm sure it'll hurt everybody.
Well done, I finish my sad session for this morning..meet you back again soon.
Love you all
(f.a)
Cat Fight! ^_^
Fiiuhhh!!! Scarry but interesting!
That's what I had in mind this morning when I had a cat fight. Even though it started with simple misunderstanding, it turned out to be pretty messy. My sheet was covered with red 'juice' and I was suffocated. There were times when I thought I was going to lose it. WOW!
But it is interesting, never had a match before. Caught off guard and didn't know what to do made me lost the fight. But hey, I survive the night hihihihiy
Moreover, I got the chance to meet my grandpa..hoho..miss him so much! Wish I could come to his place, but I guess it wasn't my time. So this is what it feels when you lost all your power and energy fighting a big cat. Untill now, my hands are sore and very much in pain.
But ,really..it was a great experience! I just have to be more careful next time.
It's not the end of my journey,fellas..maybe,it's just the beginning of my story ^^
Out for now,Ciao!
That's what I had in mind this morning when I had a cat fight. Even though it started with simple misunderstanding, it turned out to be pretty messy. My sheet was covered with red 'juice' and I was suffocated. There were times when I thought I was going to lose it. WOW!
But it is interesting, never had a match before. Caught off guard and didn't know what to do made me lost the fight. But hey, I survive the night hihihihiy
Moreover, I got the chance to meet my grandpa..hoho..miss him so much! Wish I could come to his place, but I guess it wasn't my time. So this is what it feels when you lost all your power and energy fighting a big cat. Untill now, my hands are sore and very much in pain.
But ,really..it was a great experience! I just have to be more careful next time.
It's not the end of my journey,fellas..maybe,it's just the beginning of my story ^^
Out for now,Ciao!
AVA - HALLUCINATIONS
Hai fellas,
It's a bright afternoon here 15:43 pm
I'm giving you this lyric from Angels dan Airwaves - HALLUCINATIONS, my recently favorite song. really represent the feeling I have nowadays, just because this girl is in love with a hallucination.. "atashi no Neko-Chan desu..AISHITEMASU!"
eNJOY! Be right back with lots of stories. An odyssey of a Fallen Angel ^_^
It's a bright afternoon here 15:43 pm
I'm giving you this lyric from Angels dan Airwaves - HALLUCINATIONS, my recently favorite song. really represent the feeling I have nowadays, just because this girl is in love with a hallucination.. "atashi no Neko-Chan desu..AISHITEMASU!"
eNJOY! Be right back with lots of stories. An odyssey of a Fallen Angel ^_^
HALLUCINATIONS
And look real close, across the lines and the roads,
It is there to decode...
Where you thought was a ghost, are sparked to explode
It's the start of the show, it's the part you love most
When your heart will implode within
REFF I:
Do you believe in hallucinations?
Silly dreams or Imagination?
Don't go away 'cause I feel you this time
Don't go away 'cause I need you here this time
As a man floats home, carry us, back to shore,
And let the mountainous coast...
Where the sun starts to glow,
From our head to our toes, to the stars, that we know,
And with you as my host, it will keep us afloat, we can
REFF II:
Do you believe in hallucinations?
Silly dreams or Imagination?
Don't go away 'cause I feel you this time
Don't go away 'cause I need you here this time
Do you believe in hallucinations?
Silly dreams or Imagination?
Don't go away 'cause I feel you this time
Don't go away 'cause I need you here this time
Do you believe in hallucinations?
Any dream or it's revelation?
Don't go away 'cause I need you here this time,
Don't go away cause I'll leave you here all night
Don't go away 'cause I need you here this time,
Don't go away cause I'll leave you here all night
The signs, are taxing, I'm waiting, for something,
There's images of love and war
And everything's here to explore,
It's all unlike, the usual, A different place but beautiful,
And it is not quite as it seems,
I hear the children's laughs and screams,
Ohhhh, It's beautiful!Ohhhh, So beautiful!
Ohhhh, It's beautiful!Ohhhhh!
(back to REFF II)
I'm making you, all mine, I'm making you, all mine
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