...

20:58pm
at the office...don't know what to do nor where to go...my mind wandered to you again...ahh,this punishment really kills..

the rain doesn't fall either..maybe this time I'm supposed to feel it, not just run away like I usually did..but the more I feel, the more it hurts..

I'd take a walk for a while..maybe the wind and the dust of those empty road could tell me what I am supposed to do..

with these song in my head:

"The Reason"

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You

and the reason is You [x3]

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

"I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love"

16:25pm..got back from a doctor which I didn't remember the face nor care what he said..my head spins and my heart beats too slow..can't find any words to show what's inside, so I take these guys' words to represent:

"The End - My Chemical Romance"

Now come one come all to this tragic affair
Wipe off that makeup, what's in is despair
So throw on the black dress, mix in with the lot
You might wake up and notice you're someone you're not

If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see
You can find out firsthand what it's like to be me
So gather 'round piggies and kiss this goodbye
I'd encourage your smiles I'll expect you won't cry

Another contusion, my funeral jag
Here's my resignation, I'll serve it in drag
You've got front row seats to the penitence ball
When I grow up I want to be nothing at all!

I said yeah, yeah!
I said yeah, yeah!

C'mon C'mon C'mon I said
(Save me!) Get me the hell out of here
(Save me!) Too young to die and my dear
(You can't!) If you can hear me just walk away and
(Take me!)

"Dead End - In Flames"

Save all your prayers
I think we lost today
There's no morning after
And no one's around to blame

I'm not afraid to bleed
But I won't do it for you
A star among hypocrites
The melody of our time

[Chorus:]
So say goodbye to the world
We are the dead that walk the earth
Scream your lungs out
Wait for laughter
You don't have to wait forever
It's the next disaster!

What decides when you've lost the war
When the first man falls?
Or when they erase it all?

We're too numb to feel
The downfall starts right here
Hold your breath and swim
Swallowed my life's tear

In times of make believe
No one really seems to care
Maybe I should care less
'Cause I will die too

[Chorus]

What will it take for us to realize
The more we provoke
Winter will come twice

Save all your prayers

I think we lost today

There's no morning after
And no one's around to blame

Scream you lungs out
Wait for laughter
You don't have to wait for ever
Here's the next disaster! [2x]

"Walking Dead - Linkin Park"

In the chill of the night
I can feel my heart racing
As I run towards the light
that seems so far away
Wondering forever
In the darkest of shadows
Wondering if I will ever see you again

Wondering if I will ever see you again

I'll take your love
(I'll take your love)
I'll take your hate
(take your hate)
I'll take you're desire

I'll take the world
when it turns on you
(when it turns on you)
I'll set it on fire

W-the-w-th-th-the walking dead
The walking dead (walking dead)

Digging in the dirt
I can feel you getting closer
Steadying my hands through the blistering pain
Anxiously awaiting for the earth to reveal you
Wondering if I will ever see you again (see you again)

Wondering if I will ever see you again

I'll take your love
(I'll take your love)
I'll take your hate
(take your hate)
I'll take you're desire

I'll take your heart
I'll take your pain
(I'll take your pain)
I'll bring you to life

I'll bring you to life

W-the-w-th-th-the walking dead
The walking dead (walking dead)

I'll bring you to life

I'll take your love
(I'll take your love)
I'll take your hate
(take your hate)
I'll take you're desire

I'll take the world
when it turns on you
(it turns on you)

W-the-w-th-th-the walking dead

I'll take your love
(I'll take your love)
I'll take your hate
(take your hate)
I'll take you're desire

I'll take your heart
I'll take your pain
(I'll take your pain)

I'll bring you to life

"Walking Dead - Decyfer Down"

Pull the trigger now, end me,
Mark me for the kill,
Like I marked your hands your feet,
I spilled all your blood, flowing deeper,
To suffocate the sin, till I'm drowning you again

(Chorus:)
I am so alive, since you took my life
I'm walking dead now, only you remain
I take the life you gave, I walk from the grave
I'm walking dead now, I am not afraid!

Stabbing deeper now, spill me,
My body left for dead,
Like I pierced your side until it bled,
Now the blood flows freely,
It fills me till I see, that there's nothing left of me

(Chorus:)
I am so alive, since you took my life
I'm walking dead now, only you remain
I take the life you gave, I walk from the grave
I'm walking dead now...

(Chorus 2x)

"Only One - Yellowcard"

Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you
You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you
You are my only my only one

Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one

The Empty Entity of BaKa

Such a stupid idiot
Living in a chaotic riot
Walk a walk on auto pilot
Shattered heart with a plot

Never understand
Stranded on the land
Ignored all in hand
Soaking in the sand

Now these tears
Filling the soul with fears
Oh,how she wishes God hears
Erase all the pain appears

Salvation she said
And the Almighty gives more than she paid
All the battle she raid
In a disgrace she laid

Where is the rain
To erase all pain
Where is the thunder
she wants to surrender

It hurts..it hurts..it is so hollow
It hurts her to know
She's living in a shadow
All this time she was the sorrow

Where's the grim reaper
Take her soul now,throw it down the river
Let her knows how much he suffers
Make her screams and shivers

"How could you..how could you?", they say
"May your soul burned in hell!", they pray
So she asks them to drag her down the bay
Let her be purified during the day

Will never see a light she promise
If the Knight she loves doesn't grant forgiveness
Maybe the crystal sword will care less
Slashed her soul into pieces

Oris Virgineus i Linteatus

Starry starry night
Where's your southern sight
I'm in the middle of a fight
Between dark n light
Keep me awake tonight

My soul's trembling inside
Wish he come by my side
Soothe the fallen that hide
Pain and vain abide
Reminisce the cavalry they ride
So much for human pride

Scattered and shattered
Smothered but bothered
Sacred and raged
Darkened and frightened
Lightened and hardened

Chaotic disturbia
Obnoxius paranoia
Derived hysteria
Blocked Dimensia
Unfortunate Rebelia

Taken for granted
Resemble the hatred
Washed away on my own
The Rain's soutane blown
Change the silver lining gown

I'm immortal
Unnatural
Tragically brutal
My fear is fatal
The cumulus nimbus by fall

The savior's out of sight
But deep inside I can feel him hold me so tight
Forever is my oath
May we be together in one path

Σε αγαπώ, πρίγκιπα μου.

12:44pm

PT. HAND SUM TEX, TANGERANG

Taking time to wait for a reunion, at the end of rainbow
Apart for awhile, but never say goodbye
Seconds come to minutes, minutes comes as sorrow
For it feels like forever before I can meet the eye

Walking alone in the corner of one's heart
Go on separate part at a boulevard
Baby, your love will wait till we walk side by side
holding hands as butterflies fly on our yard

Meet you a gain,sweet love
at the end of the road we evolve
Be at your arm soon, feeling your hair and chest
Honey, you're my best interest

RaiN..ThouGH DEaTh Do Us AParT

16:20 pm

Drop of tears, series of laughters
The beauty of hugs, the warm of hands
A story of a Princess who believes not the letters
A song of a Cat Knight with a world bands
Promise for eternity to share in pairs
Forever love written on the sands

Hereby I bow to the Almighty
Who gave me such presence of a great honesty
Never going to be sure
But there's no insecure
Walk under the milky way
Kiss the demon, don't stray

The sweetness of velvet night
Share your thoughts my dearest Light
As this entity feels your glory
And the torn of thy misery
Let me be your sanctuary
A battlefield of secrecy

Rain be their guide, stars be their light
Fight with thy right, sacrifice I might
Live life to love, love life to live
A promise wider than take and give
Forever be in your heart
Though death do us apart

Ich liebe dich, Meine Welt...Deine Liebe ist das Einzige, was mich am Leben zu halten. Ich will nicht hören, was sie sagen. Ihre Stimme wird mein Licht, Gott zu sein. Ich liebe dich, auch wenn der Tod uns auseinander.


हमेशा के लिए प्यार करता हूँ.

Hamēśā kē li'ē pyāra karatā hūm̐.

My Eternal

12:55pm

Time walks too slow when you're not around
It almost feels like it doesn't move at all
We're connected and bound
Everybody says there's no call

I hear the sound of thunder
I reminisce the voice of no stranger
I hear the drops of the rain
I realize this feeling is all but pain

Tremble and spin, my heart within
My dearest on the keen
Suffocate by the touch of you
Illuminate by the blue

I remember each second I spend holding your hand
I cherish each day I got wondering in your land
So I said I do, because I swear I love you
And I could hear no one but you, to me you are the truth

...

Atashi no ai. Atashi wa anata wa totemo suki desu. Anata wa chijoo no tengoku to atashi no jinsei desu. Anata nashi de wa iki rare nai . Anata nashi de wa iki te hoshiku nai. Atashi no tamashī wa anata ni zokushi masu. Atashi wa Kami ga kii te hoshii to atashi no inori wo fuyo suru yotei desu. Gomen ne. Shikashi, atashi wa hontooni anata wo aishi te kudasai. Kami wa, atashi wo tasuke te. Atashi wa kowai desu.

So help me God!

Fall for my Immortal

Fall For You

Best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don't think that I am trying......
I know you where it thins down to the core

But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you
Over again
Don&'t make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear its true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed
But I have loved you from the start

Oh, But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it’s true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
It's impossible

So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in
I'm yours to keep
And hold onto your words
'Cause talk is cheap
And remember me tonight
When you're asleep

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find

Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find ____________________________________________________________________
This "Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade" is dedicated to my AVA..aahh, aishiteru nee!
____________________________________________________________________

My Immortal

I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave
Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me, me, me

____________________________________________________________________
I'm captivated by the lyric..I just hope I don't end like this..
____________________________________________________________________

Angel and The Other

CHORUS:
We don't know why things happens this way..
but I know it happens for a reason..
let's just walk along the subway..
someday we're all gonna change season..

Baby, my life’s a goner..but your love makes me stronger
Maybe one day I’ll see the rainbow, which I thought has lost in sorrow
So before my eyes tricks me to see..tell me how much you love me
Then it shouldn’t be so hard..when everything leave and fall apart

Oh, you'll pass me by, when the rain falls down from the sky
We'll share the moment for a second, but you made me fly high
The reflection of us as the wind blows..Drawn on the windows and shadows
Make sure we'll stay together..cause you're an angel and I'm the other

CHORUS:
We don't know why things happens this way..
but I know it happens for a reason..
let's just walk along the subway..
someday we're all gonna change season..
Yeaah..We sure don’t know why things happens this way..
But let me tell you it happens for a reason..
Let’s just dance like a butterfly..
Someday we’re all gonna make liaison..

Ohh..why is it so hard to make you stay by my side
How does this life hate and put me aside
There’s no way I can make you mine, it’s just another glass of wine
A walk to remember..Honey, you’re an angel and I’m the other..ooohh

CHORUS:
We don't know why things happens this way..
but I know it happens for a reason..
let's just walk along the subway..
someday we're all gonna change season..
Yeaah..We sure don’t know why things happens this way..
But let me tell you it happens for a reason..
Let’s just dance like a butterfly..
Someday we’re all gonna make liaison..

Yeaah, Honey you're an angel and I'm the other..


(by: F.A)
*Wish my song really resound in your ear